Why We Should Witch Hunt 9/11 Truthers

It's time for an inquisition, ladies and gentlemen. Unpatriotic ideas have been spreading - ideas that seek to undermine everything our governments have been trying to accomplish since 9/11. Pax Americana: the victory of Freedom and Democracy in the Middle East, and really around the world too. The Global War On Terrorism, didn't you know we were at war?

(One example of a subversive 9/11 troof picture. Actually, it shows how little the troofers know - the joke is a 'good one', because jet fuel didn't do 9/11, Islamic Terrorists did.)

Back in the last century, it was simpler. We could just declare a war and people would turn up to fight when told to. However, since Vietnam, hippies have tried to subvert the culture of patriotism that keeps us fighting the good fight. The fight against Commies, Liberals, Foreigners and Independent Rogue Nations. It almost makes me weep to think of the flag, think how free we are because of all the wars we fight. If we were whiny pacifists we would be enslaved by Commies.

Now there are some people who say that war is the health of the State. But let me tell you that I have it on good authority these people are the same Commies, Hippies and Whiny Liberals who have been working to weaken our proud military and stab our troops in the back for decades. Now I know that some veterans are anti-war too, but that just shows how prevalent the Commie anti-troop propaganda is. We need to inform them that what they did was right, and that their comrades did not die in vain. They died so that we could be free. If they had not died, in fact, we would not be free at all. You could say that the more troops die, the freer we get.

So the latest far-left dangerous fad on the Internet is 9/11 truth. This sickening, unpatriotic movement blames America for 9/11. I tell you, when I look up at a flag and pledge myself to it, I do not think of a nation ruled by people who could do such things. I look up and see patriotic leaders (except the Liberal pussies) who work hard to defend the nation from all subversives. It is not possible that 9/11 could have been an inside job; what's more, it distracts from the real threat which are the Afghan cave dwellers. They are the primary threat to freedom, and must be eradicated or converted to Christianity so that they appreciate freedom as much as we do.

Communist propaganda says that Joseph McCarthy was an agent of tyranny; that his purge of suspected Communists was detrimental to liberty. I say, when it comes to eradicating threats to our security, the ends justify the means.

So who's up for having an Inquisition into who may have ties to the Terrorist 9/11 Truth movement? You'll need lie detectors, pitchforks, lots of water, and a flag (if you're not using it to waterboard someone, you can always wrap yourself in it).

Your country's future depends on it.

And Remember:
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH