NEWSFLASH: The world is ending! The ice caps are disappearing, the polar bears can't swim, the CO2 emissions are causing bigger hurricanes, droughts, famines, rains, snows, extreme heat, extreme cold, floods, and they're poisoning the sea.
Sufficiently frightened?
Good. Now, what can we do about it? Well, 'international cooperation' would be useful. That means we all obey a single global authority called the World Bank or some such. We need to disincentivise fossil fuel usage, so let's tax carbon emissions. We could call it a 'carbon tax' and it would be payable to this global authority.
Also, those pesky Third World nations are trying to develop, which would mean they use more fossil fuels, so let's cause instability over there to make sure they don't contribute to global warming and kill each other instead.
In fact, every human being is contributing to global warming, so we need to reduce the population. Forced abortions in the Third World would be useful, and even though this would not work in the West, we can encourage abortion and euthanasia.
Also, since every child is a carbon-spewing monster, we could recommend a legal cap on births. We could call it a 'two-child policy', or perhaps even a 'one-child policy' if we are really serious about dealing with global warming, and people who have more than their fair share of pollution-producing life should be treated harshly for their selfishness.
Why not go one further? Instead of just reducing births, let's consider the great opportunities to combat global warming caused by current generations too. We could prevent long lifetimes by spraying the air with chemtrails containing carcinogen heavy metals such as barium. We could fluoridate the water supply, put mercury in vaccines, use aspartame sweeteners, and buy off scientists to conduct reassuring studies telling everyone these chemicals are not dangerous or even that they are benefitial.
And...whoops, it seems I have endorsed the entire Eugenics/Trans-Humanist agenda of population reduction...who could have known it was as easy as starting a fake environmental controversy...
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